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Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
It's one of those nights where I am freshly awake.
And shall remain freshly awake.
Not 'cause I want to have a sleepless night.
And I don't want to blame it on the cup of coffee either.
It's jus that I feel like my Monday was so worthless and frustrating.
I suppose some people jus don't know how to win my heart.
I really don't want to fall asleep in anger.
I want my heart to be stabilize, calm, and peaceful before I float to my sweet dreams.
One thing is for certain.

First thing in broad daylight, I shall make 'tis phone call.
And hopefully, 'tis phone call shall turn into a fantasy date.
Pl's pray that will make me feel better.
At least for the moment.

Since the new quarter started, I made myself a resolution.
The resolution will be that I commit myself to a relationship, whatever that will be.
That I learn how to be honest, faithful and respectful to my beloved one and especially to myself.
God forbid that I return to my crocked path of cheating habits.

But sometimes, I can't help myself.
Why?
'Cause the people that surrounds me make me feel like crap in so many ways.
It's simply intolerable.
I can't jus stand around and allow that to surpass me, can I?
Impossible!
I am ME!
When I feel like my life is upside down and I feel the worse shit, I will make myself feel better by doing things that will hurt others physically, mentally or both.
Isn't that abusive or what?
Haven't I learn from past experiences? Or will I keep repeating the same old bullshit?
It doesn't make any sense how life can run in circles most of the time.
No once upon a time and no happily ever after.
'Cause ev'rythin seems to be back to square one.
It's like karma, I guess.

What should I do to make myself feel like I am on Cloud No. 9 and at the same time, avoid committin sins?

[ ShazLiCious ]
http://alluriteshaz.blogspot.com

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