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Here's what I THINK:

You know what?
Right now, I feel like I don't even know you.
All these questions in my head & no answers.
You are a SELFISH person.
All you ever think of is YOURSELF.
What you want & what you need.
ONLY YOUR DAMN SELF.

Now that you lure me in your trap,
you just wanna let go of me.
What is your intention?
What do you want from me?
Why are you doing this?

And you know how embarassing for me to hear all the shit you been saying to coworkers & I don't know nothing about it. If you have shit to say, just tell me & let me know.

You are right.
I don't know anything about life & what's really out there.
I'm young & I'm just a GOOD girl to you.
But you know what?
I'm growing up.

Seriously, I wonder what I did in my past life.
What I did to deserve all this treatment from you guys.
People treating me like shit.
What did I do wrong?
All these bullshitting & drama.
FUCK THIS!
I'm sick of this.
I want to know the ANSWERS.

Tw0 nights ag0, my Baby c0nfessed his darkest addicti0n 2 me. His behavi0r was slightly 0ff & I knew instantly that my gut feelin' was right. He revealed a r0lled paper & inside it was a half- sm0ked cigar/ cigarette 0r what- n0t. I was speechless... My Baby been sm0kin' weed!!! Yea... My first reacti0n was like, wtf? But then again, I really d0 like him f0r wh0 he is inside (And his mesmerizin' smile.) Disapp0intment kinda suff0cated da air ar0und us f0r a brief m0ment. t0 think 'b0ut it th0', he never 0nce attempted 2 sm0ke that nasty shyt in fr0nt 0f me cause he respects me as a lady & as his girl. I ad0re him f0r that. And an0ther thing is I am thankful f0r his h0nesty cause he c0uld have kept me in da dark. I w0uld have tripped if I f0und it 0ut 0n my 0wn. n0w I'm startin' 2 accept his addicti0n s0 l0ng as it d0esn't affect 0ur relati0nship. (:

H0RNYSC0PE!

LEO:
July 24 - August 23

Ruling Planet: THE SUN
Which isn't a planet at all, but a star, and just like Leo's opinion of themselves, it is the centre of our solar system! Leos can be very 'into themselves' when they bonk. It's not that they don't make their partner feel special, it's just that they often forget about them as they secretly high-five themselves for scoring again! Leo does actually want more from a partner than just sex though. Leo wants love and friendship too.
They can be very romantic, but when they get into bed, it's not an experience they are about to have, it is a show! They like to perform... and they take requests! "Doing it" is the ultimate stress buster for Leo and they are pretty damn good at it, but they need constant praise for their outstanding performance.

FAVORITE POSITION:
Receiving 'oral affections', since Leo is all about getting serviced!

BEST SEX TOY
A camera, or a game of Strip Poker will get the cat purring... or perhaps you can use them both together!

LEOS FEMALE IN BED:
You are elegant and sexy without even trying. Men love you and women want to be you. You like to play cat and mouse with men and command respect. In bed, you are a real panther and can scare the pants off most men. You adore raw sex, so your partner should go with you and enjoy it. You are a once in a lifetime experience!

THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON LEO:
A Leo's 'moan zone' is his or her back. First of all, ask your Leo to roll onto his/her tummy. Start with a gentle scratch that runs from the top of the ass to the base of the skull. I'm not talking about tender tickles or a tantalizing tease - I mean a REAL back scratch, coz if there's one thing cats love, it's a scratch! After a minute or so, get out the massage oil and spill it into a snakey pattern on Leo's back. Then rub all over. Keep doing this until you know Leo is ready to roll over. If they start falling asleep, give them a gentle prod in a delicate place! Once Leo is ready to roll over, don't let them! Leo will be excited by your control. YOU decide when it's time to 'flip your feline' over and get into the good stuff!

Lil' Birdies' j0b is d0ne.
Ev'ry0ne kn0ws n0w.
Rum0rs circulate fast.
y0u think n0b0dy kn0ws jus' cause y0ur lips are sealed.
But walls have eyes + ears.
There is simply n0 way 0ut.

My Juli0 fixed me Tequila Sm00thie 0n a Friday nite.
h0w th0ughtful 0f him 2 think 0f me when he's buzzed!
He had a haircut, n0w his head is bald (s0 cute!)
While I g0t my preci0us hair d0ne, spent a f0rtune 0n it.

Startin' @ 7p.m., I'll begin my venture w/ da h0mies f0r Kn0tts Hall0ween Haunt. p00r Baby g0ts tah w0rk! I'm all hyped up. I h0pe Derina has da h00k- ups f0r m0re drinks. Have a great weekend, y'all. (; g0tta get prepped up n0w.

Forget 'bout da Big Guy!
Forget 'bout da BedRoom Eyes!
I found my SuperMan.

We had our Romance in da Rain.
So cute, so sexy, so fine.
He protected me frm da "Rape Trail".
And sent me off durin' his work break.
We cuddled w/ my hands in his pocket.
And da drizzle of da rain smoothes our delicate skin.
We hugged & snuggled & ev'rythin' fits 2gether.

P.S. Don't worry. He's not Hitam. He's not Old. He has No Kids. He's jus' like me, Young & Carefree. FINALLY! HAHA! (;

Have you ever been put in a spot where u can't escape?
That's how I felt tonight.
I am suffocating with haunted souls.
Have you ever been caught in a situation where u jus' can't say NO?
How do u say NO to a person who jus' confessed his feelings for u?
When u have no attraction to that person?
No chemistry, no sparks, no soul interest or whatsoever?
How do u simply say NO, that only friends will do?
Even the desirable taste of vodka can't influence or change one's intoxicated mind.
One might think it would work but it doesn't hold an effect on me.
Certainly the work environment can be misleading.
The person that you think is not dangerous to you becomes an unwanted predator.
Tonight my mind is disturbed.
How am I to face him tomorrow?
To be working behind the line with him?
Will avoiding him be the best solution?

And so...

I'm NOT fasting

Not on the weekdays. With food in front of me, behind me, and around me, my body jus' can't accept the fast. I'm glad Mom understands my position. She's the absolute greatest!

Ev'ryone spoils me @ work. Daily Visits, Daily Hook- Ups to Smoothies & Coffees & Desserts. Occasional drama among coworkers but that has never been a problem 2 me. Plus I'm startin' 2 accept the fact that I'm no longer workin' @ Rieber Hall.

Get Well Soon 2 my HomeBoy, Robert. He's currently recoverin' frm his knee surgery. May all goes well w/ him. Once u're fully healed, I'mma treat u 2 a Get- Well- Soon Lunch.

I hope Derrick or anyone frm Bruin Cafe brings me another Smoothie 2day.