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Why can't you simply speak the truth?
Why are you hiding these obvious lies?
What does the silence prove?
I feel like I never knew you.
Like all these times, you are just another person.
You act all different now.
If you ain't feeling me, why even be with me?
What the fuck has gotten into you?
Have you been possessed by some other bitch?
But you know what, I am tired of thinking there is hope.
Do you think it is best if we just let go?
Here I am...
I ain't gonna cry cause my tears have been dried up.
I'mma keep my composure like I always have.
And on 'tis day, I shall face the truth like a true fighter.

- Shaz

MAD HOT DANCE: Spring Show '06


-Hips Don't Lie-


-Entitled 2 an Unlimited BackStage Pass-


-Supportin' Our Sisters-


-After the Show-

Presenting to you the Superstar of the Family.
The youngest of the family and yet so achieving, so determined.
She is without a doubt, a role model to all.
An inspiring poet,
An outspoken valedictorian,
An unstoppable soccer player,
A graceful dancer.
What more can I say about my Baby Sis?
We are beyond proud of her continuous success.

P.S. Your Rebelde, So Sick, and Reflection moved us all.

Love Always,
Your Sister

Shaz is HAPPY & CONTENT...

But her heart is achin'...

She jus' spent a fortune on her NEW Sony digital camera...

DAMN... It hurts like a bitch...

There goes her PIGGY- BANK...

Where are you, Pa ???

I need 2 claim my reimbursement from you...

When Mom finds out, I'm gonna get KILL alive... Watch...

Damn...

- Shaz

Lingerie Party or Bar Night ???

Ev'ryone pl's vote be4 Thursday comes...
Cause I can't decide, can't make up my mind...

The Boyfriend: Haven't heard from the boyfriend in two odd days...
Last time I saw him was on Saturday @ his work.
2day is Redemption Day & his ass finally called me...
I was hella pissed...
But we cleared the air...
Let him off the hook this once.
There ain't no second chance.

Lingerie Party:
The boyfriend invited me 2 this Lingerie Party @ Gayley on Thursday night.
Hmm... Should I or should I not go?
It will be hella WILD, that's 4 sure...
Imagine the white 'hoes tryin' 2 hit on my man...
Oh hell naw... Get yo dumb blonde ass out of the way... Haha...
The thing is... I have never been 2 parties/ clubs/ bars w/ a boyfriend...
It would be bizarre & different...
Damn...

Bar Night:
Domaine invited me 2 Breenen' s Bar on Thursday night @ Lincoln & Washington...
Julien, Wali, & his Bro' will be joinin' us...
A mini- reunion of us without Derina though... =(
It's gonna be awkward meetin' Julien again...
Cause we had feelings 4 each other over Winter Session...
Damn...

- Shaz

! feliz dia de la madre !

The Night of Mother's Day Eve:
Headed 2 the drug store (Thank the Lord for 24- hour stores!) right after work & grabbed a fresh bouquet of flowers & a helium balloon that says, "Happy Mother's Day!" Imagine me walkin' home in the middle of the night & the wind blowin' my two feet off the ground w/ the balloon in my hand. Not a pleasant sight! It is worth the sacrifice for my Mamacita.

Mother's Day '06:
A Mexican theme.
Me, being the big Sis & an organized party planner (More like nosey- ass! Lol!) came up with all the ideas as usual.
Specially for the Mamacita Dearest.
We had a feast @ Acapulco Restaurante.
It was pretty packed w/ mothers & children (Duh!).
Watched the basketball game @ the same time feat. the Clippers vs. the Phoenix Suns.
The three of us had fajitas con tortillas.
Shrimp, carne y pollo.
Ev'rythin' was on me esp. the BEBEMOS!!! Lol...
Bought my Mamacita a super- sized Coconut y Banana Margarita
while the big daughter bought herself the restaurante's specialty drink: The Acapulco Azul Margarita
¡ Aye, es muy delicioso !
I think the waiter noticed I was underaged.
But then again, who cares?
It is a special occasion & I am not a frequent drinker (At least I try not 2 be!).
With our stomachs occupied, we shopped @ Target 4 a lil' bit w/ our minds half- buzzed. Lol...

P.S. I miss my digital camera!!! The zoom got messed up & I jus' sent it 4 repairs yesterday w/ the one- year warranty card.

From today onwards, I shall cut down on my expenses.

I shall only consider the things that I really NEED.

Now that I have my Driver's License, I NEED a car, any used car + car insurance.

I have to decide carefully on my options.

And set my priorities right.

I know that my upcoming paychecks will all go primarily to car purposes.

By the end of the day, I know it will be all worth it.

Dropping my beautiful babes to school.

And picking them up from school in my new ride.

We will no longer rely on public transportation.

P.S. I just left a voice- msg on my Pa's cell (He is probably in bed.) I hope he is willing to provide at least 25 % of share to my car.

Thank you, Allah for your blessings and guidance throughout the driving test.
And thank you, Juan for your patience and time with me. You are the best driving instructor ever!
Last but not least, thank you, Bryce (I think that's his name!) for calming me down during the driving test. You are the most easygoing driving examiner of them all!

- Shaz

A million questions is running through my head.

HOW? WHY? WHAT? the fuck...

The evening w/ Romen was the coziest.

Strolled around Universal CityWalk.

Watched this group of breakdancers entertainin' the crowd.

We talked 'bout the deepest shit, our conversations are always deep to the core.

Matters of life? What we've been through?

But we ended the night with questions that I can't possibly answer.

How in the world did I ....... ?

I could have sworn that I ....... before.

So why did it ....... ?

I am confused.

I bet it's gonna distract me 4 the rest of the day.

I have a bad feelin' 'bout this.

Romen is goin' 2 be missin' 4 a lil' bit after last night's episode.

P.S. I can't confide 2 nobody. It is embarassin' like fuck... Feel like a complete FOOL right now...

- Shaz

Total boredom while waitin' for my Sweetheart to come pick me up.
His ass is takin' forever! Perhaps the traffic in L.A. is causin' him delay.
We're gonna chill @ his house for a lil' bit.
Watch the game? I don't kno'... We'll see what happens in a bit.
I jus' want 2 cuddle him all day long...
I miss him so much...

Back to the books:
Got our 2nd MidTerm back from Accountin' class.
Butterflies in my stomach when the statistics was shown on the overhead projector.
Heartbeat racin'...

Class Statistics:
Average: 60%
Around 16 Fails

I was prayin' I wouldn't be one of 'em.
I was afraid but then again, I paid attention in class, wrote notes on the lectures, completed all my homework that was required & practiced on the problems.

I had an 80.75%, a B, below the 1st MidTerm but satisfaction. It was challengin' esp. the Multiple Choice questions, not necessarily good in eliminatin' & choosin' the correct answer. It's all good.

Alright then... I'mma head out... Till later, y'all...

- Shaz

I feel so awful.
Allah, pl's forgive my ignorance.
I've been too occupied w/ my damn life
That my absence in my extended family
Has driven me to a gulty conscience
Upon readin' my cousin's blog,
I feel worse
My grandmother is diagnosed w/ kidney failure
And all I've done is NOTHIN!
I haven't talked 2 her in the longest.
omg...
What should I do?
All I can do is pray for her.
That God will make ev'rythin' easy for her.
Pl's guide her through...
Ya Allah, tuhanku...

- Shaz

She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:
Thus mellow'd to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.

One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impair'd the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens o'er her face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express
How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.

And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!