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ENOUGH OF THIS SHIT!!!
Friday, April 21, 2006
Friday, April 21, 2006


For the past couple of days, I feel like a complete fool towards the friends that are fairly close to me.
I thought my good deeds is for a beneficial cause but there are plenty of faultlines.
I am expressing this feelings to make it perfectly clear to them whether they like it or not.
I am a person who GIVES AND TAKE...
As I am typing this entry, I am not being calculative.
My frustration and disappointment in my friends have exceeded my limits.
And the truth is, I had enough of this SHIT!!!
You guys may think I am playing around but this time, it is for real.

I am well- known for "granting" wishes.
And I get positive outcomes from it.
All I want is for the "other parties" to be happy.
To me, happiness is everything.
Has anyone ever thought of my happiness when I am "granting" them these wishes?

This Week:
This week, I planned and organized for a special occasion to the two people whom I thought meant alot to me.
I SACRIFICED my time, efforts, and money for the both of them.
I spent my days off from work trying to find the perfect outfit for the lady and went to her house in the dark to convince her Dad to let her go.
I spent my hours of rest and hours of family time trying to make the best for them.
From these sacrifices, I lacked quality time with my family and as a result, I had a little argument with my Mom over this shit.
As for the financial part, I really don't mind contributing to little details for the occasion. But all my money is from my hard work and come to realize it, my family needs it more than they do. And I thought while on the way home, I thought this special occasion is for two people and both parties ought to contribute fairly and equally? So, why is the guy paying off for everything? Same goes for marriage... A newly- wed couple should plan the marriage together which includes the financial part.

I really thought by helping them, they would be completely grateful and thankful towards my gratitude but you know what? I was wrong again. Instead they demanded MORE from me. They demanded the pics right NOW or by TONIGHT. However they ceased to realize my whereabouts or what I was doing. I was at work during my break having a minute of air to breathe.

I am sick and tired of being nice to people when in the end, I get shit from them...
I am sick and tired of helping people who don't appreciate my kindness.
I am sick and tired of people taking my kindness for a weakness.
I am sick and tired of people demanding shit from me.

BEAR THIS IN MIND:
I am not a DOG and you are not the MASTER.
When the MASTER tells the DOG to get its bone, the DOG rushes for it.
FUCK IT...
I WILL NEVER BE THE DOG!!!

I mean these from the bottom of my broken heart.
And all my kindness is HALAL and I have no form of regrets for helping you guys.
I wish you all the best this Saturday.
And whether or not, you decide to talk to me again, I don't mind or care.
My inner feelings have come out.
And you guys have exceeded my limits.

- Shaz

[ ShazLiCious ]
http://alluriteshaz.blogspot.com

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